The God Code

California - Nile Prichard, MIT Professor, was admitted to hospital last night after running a program he wrote that took 30-years to complete.

It all began in 1982 when Nile began suffering from severe depression. "He began writing a program that he believed would tell him whether God really did exist; it was called The God Code. It was a complex program that took over 30-years to complete," says Beverly Prichard, mother of Nile. "He wanted to end his life, but was frightened. He figured he'd write this program and see what waited for him on the other side."

Friends say that after completing the program he input the entire Bible. The answer he got was Does Not Compute. In desperation Nile then typed into the computer the entire Koran. The answer was LOL!

The next day Beverly found Nile in a foetal position at the bottom of the pool. She rescued him just in time.

Nile begins writing his program "The God Code" in 1982.

Breaking News: God Reveals Himself

Creationist David Andrews Refutes Evolution

From his humble home and couch in Melbourne's north side, David Andrews, a creationist, refutes evolution, "I refute revolution! To claim that people came from apes is just outrageous."

Above: "If we came from apes, then, why am I a shit climber?"

Trees

Trees. They're big most of the time and are the most flammable creature of the animal kingdom. Unlike today's trees, these giant beasts would wonder about the plains, clubbing humans and other creatures to death with their giant limbs. However, when a tree was involved in supplying Adam with an apple, God did smite the offending lumber and all of its people. That's why trees of today remain stationary and are the Earth's natural urinals.

The tree is a great supplier of things that people need to live, like; wallpaper, napkins, cricket bats and vampire stakes.

Suprising fact: Without timber, we wouldn't have fake wood.

Charles Perkins, Author and Creationist