Creationist David Andrews Refutes Evolution

From his humble home and couch in Melbourne's north side, David Andrews, a creationist, refutes evolution, "I refute revolution! To claim that people came from apes is just outrageous."

Above: "If we came from apes, then, why am I a shit climber?"

Trees

Trees. They're big most of the time and are the most flammable creature of the animal kingdom. Unlike today's trees, these giant beasts would wonder about the plains, clubbing humans and other creatures to death with their giant limbs. However, when a tree was involved in supplying Adam with an apple, God did smite the offending lumber and all of its people. That's why trees of today remain stationary and are the Earth's natural urinals.

The tree is a great supplier of things that people need to live, like; wallpaper, napkins, cricket bats and vampire stakes.

Suprising fact: Without timber, we wouldn't have fake wood.

Charles Perkins, Author and Creationist

Creationists Claim Evidence for Young Earth

"See, right here, it says, 'Made 1947'."

Left: Rudolph examines evidence of a young Earth.

Creationists have stumbled upon evidence which may back their assertion that the Earth is much younger than the claimed 4.7 billion years by scientists. “If you look at the bottom here, it says made in 1947", says Rudolph Edge, a priest from the Berkley Creationist Church. He discovered the plastic Earth globe in his chapel storage. "This proves the Earth is much younger than Darwinists claim. Also, the Earth was made in China, which sounds strange, but it is possible that God created China first, also indicating that China is older than the rest of the planet,” claimed Rudolph Edge "Also, this type of plastic was used from about the 1930's, so, it is not possible that the Earth pre-dates this."