Breaking News! New Jihad!

In breaking news, Muslims across Europe have declared jihad on juice. A spoksman, Ali Mihmoot, explained that not all juice were being targeted, "Apple juice is okay and so are some forms of dark berrie juice but orange juice and mango juice will bend to Alah's will. Ribena, which is a rich source of vitamin C is on top of our list. Apricot juice is unconfirmed at this stage, but we will have an answer on that by morning tea tomorrow."

Muslims marched and protested from London to Madrid, some drowning in the channel on the way. When asked for the reason of the jihad, one protester explained, "Lately, we have been running low on ideas for jihads. Last week we declared jihad on humming birds and only yesterday VolksWagons. Quite frankly, we are running out of ideas."