Iran Develops Exploding Midgets

Tel Aviv - Iran has been accused today of breeding explosive midgets. Israel is calling for Iran to  hand over all midgets by the the end of the week.

Aaron Grepschlach, the head of the Israeli's spy agency said today, "We recently captured an Iranian explosive midget and have been studying it over the last few days. Unfortunately, the midget exploded, killing five of our top scientists."

It appears as though Iran have infused DNA from a Pakistani midget with a highly volatile explosive composition. It is not certain how the midgets are produced; whether they are bred from midget women or cloned, but Aaron Grepschlach is claiming that this threat is far beyond Iran's nuclear project. "If these midget are realeased on Jewish soil, then, who knows what the damage could be. These midgets are capable of crawling into air ducts, under public toilet doors and could probably even ride domestic dogs. They are incredibly difficult to shoot and some may even find them adorable. The reality is, these things can explode on will!"

An Iranian soldier prepares to throw a midget like a Molotov Cocktail

Suicide Bombers Seek World Peace

Left: "I am peaceful. I will punch your face if you don't believe it!"

At least for one man, the message of peace is important in a world of conflict and misery. Babbas Aliebi is sick and tired of the media portraying Islam as a violent and murderous religion.


“We have been trying to tell the world for years that we are a peaceful people, but our message has fallen on deaf ears. Nobody listens. Nobody hears us. The only way we can get our message across is to use suicide bombers. It is the only way to make people listen,” said spokesman Babbas Aliebi.

“Last year was extremely productive. We blew up a kindergarten, two planes and a hospital wing all in the name of peace. If we can make people sit up and listen to our message of peace then we have done our job. We are a peaceful people and will kill to make people understand this.”