Christians Angry Again

Violence erupted yesterday when Christians clashed with Star War fans as they marched through Sydney city center. "Only Jesus can strangle people without touching them!" Yelled one irate Christian. "Jesus' beard is way better than Obi Wan's," another shouted.

Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Alois Ratzinger) publicly did not make comment, but was seen to run his finger across his throat to a boy wearing a C3P0 t-shirt.

Below: The Pope wears a Vader suit. Nobody notices for two days.

Tensions have been rising for years between Star Wars fans and Christians. Some believe it started when somebody placed a bumper sticker on the Pope Mobile that read May the Force be with You.

But Star Wars fans disagree and claim that strains with the Christian community began when children stopped wearing Jesus t-shirts for Yoda clothing. "That's ridiculous," claims Stuart Applebee, a devout Christian, "Yoda has never been cool. This all started when somebody switched the pope's clothing for a Darth Vader suit. Benedict didn't notice and wore the suit all day at the Vatican. It was very insensitive."

Below: The Pope strangles a man in 1978 for wearing a Jabba the Hutt watch.

However the troubles began, Muslims are breathing a sigh of relief today, "Anything that distracts Christians from our evil plans to dominate the world and slay Jewish children is a good thing," said Imam Omar Allar.

Left: A scene from the technical marvel 1977 hit Star Wars.
In developing news, Imam Omar Allar has declared a Jihad on Star Wars. He said today, "After great debate and discussion with fellow members of the Muslim faith, we have changed our mind and decided to declare Jihad on everything Star Wars. We have not had a Jihad this week and are running out of ideas.