Trees

Trees. They're big most of the time and are the most flammable creature of the animal kingdom. Unlike today's trees, these giant beasts would wonder about the plains, clubbing humans and other creatures to death with their giant limbs. However, when a tree was involved in supplying Adam with an apple, God did smite the offending lumber and all of its people. That's why trees of today remain stationary and are the Earth's natural urinals.

The tree is a great supplier of things that people need to live, like; wallpaper, napkins, cricket bats and vampire stakes.

Suprising fact: Without timber, we wouldn't have fake wood.

Charles Perkins, Author and Creationist