Breaking News: Muslims Place Jihad on Themselves.

Below: Muslims attack themselves in the latest Jihad.

In breaking news, slightly more violence broke out today across the Middle East. Muslims across the region have taken up arms and begun attacking themselves in the streets.

One Jihadist, Mohamed Anmar, said, "I will not tolerate myself any more! I have suffered years of oppression under myself and today it will end!"

Mohamed slapped his face and punched himself in the stomach and said, "Westerners claim that we have                      run out of things to declare jihad on. Well, who has egg on their face now?"

Left : Mr. Anmar declares Jihad on himself.

Jani, mother of 5-month-old Ali says, "Muslims around the world enjoy participating in activities together. Our family was excited to hear about the latest Jihad. My little Ali couldn't wait to open his head with a sword. I am so proud of my little boy"

Left: 5-month-old Ali joins in the fun. "He's so cute," said the boy's mother. "He can't even hold his weapon by himself - I have to help LOL!"