Jesus Possibly a Raptor

Some in the scientific community believe that they have unearthed evidence that Jesus was in fact a raptor. Walter Haussermann, professor of the University of Berlin claims that Jesus was part dinosaur, "We are excited by this news, because, for the first time, we are able to settle old disputes with the church and combine our beliefs into one unifying ideal! Now, evolution and the church can put aside their differences and work together!"

But some reject this evidence as outlandish, believing that the mix up is due to earlier evidence suggesting that Jesus bred raptors. "Ancient scrolls describe Jesus as an avid raptor breeder. He had great success in breeding raptors and training them to do all sorts of tricks, like fetch sticks, shake hands and balance on balls. Prior to raptors, Jesus dabbled in breeding triceratops, however, this ended disastrously when his favourite triceratops, George, destroyed the tower of Babylon," says Ivan Kaliski, a modern day Evangelist.

Left: An artist's impression of Jesus breast feeding